kind of personal...

I have gotten all sorts of {surprising} comments when I say I make all of Barrett's baby food. Some negative in the form of a backhanded compliment, but really most people are so kind and supportive. I feel like some people can't believe that I would put forth "all the hard work and effort" [although if you really know me or have done it yourself you know that's not the reality] to make his food. Let me tell you why.

I feel like I failed him.

Before my sweet, amazing baby boy was born, I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I was going to breastfeed him. It's natural, it's best for baby, and good for me as well. No questions. I had read up about breastfeeding, had mostly supportive family and friends (among the ones who would talk about it), and "knew" it was natural and would happen for us.

I was wrong.

When he came, I was so happy and thought we had it all down pat. I didn't need the lactation consultant's help. The nurses told me he and I were doing fine. When we got home, we did great for a few weeks. One of my close friends was with me and encouraged me constantly. I thought we were doing great. At about the four week mark, things went downhill.... He would scream and cry. I didn't know why. I assumed he wasn't getting enough. I don't even know now. {I suspect a growth spurt.} So we started supplementing. I continued pumping and bottlefeeding him that way because I thought maybe he was a lazy eater. Even now, I'm not sure. I wish I could go back and just keep nursing him. I think we could have made it. Maybe not though.....

I'm just opening up to tell you why I make his food. Just like breastfeeding, I feel like it's the absolute healthiest thing for Barrett. And I can keep doing it. I can choose to make him the most nourishing foods to eat. I can be a positive food influence in his life. I hope that I am. I think that I am.... That's why I make his food.... :)