a little therapy session.

Phew. Today has been a tough day. But let's rewind to Sunday. TJ left Sunday morning at about 430 am to go to New Mexico for about two weeks. This has been a really good thing for our marriage, even if it's been tough on our day to day lives... I certainly appreciate him more and love the times we have together, even if it's just sitting around. I did see him in a completely different light when we took him up on base that morning. Not sure if this will make much sense so sorry if it doesn't. So for as long as I've known TJ, he has been the same in my eyes. He is generally quiet and reserved. He isn't usually into meeting new people, or being in places with large groups of people. Anyway, when we got up on the base, there were lots and lots of cars and people. I was surprised to learn that so many people were going on this trip. I don't know what about that was so shocking to me but it really was. Just the fact that he would choose to put himself in these kind of situations on a regular basis kind of made me see him differently. But then again, perhaps that's why he doesn't like big groups. Who knows.... Just thought it was kind of interesting....

On another note, poor baby boy is teething so bad :( My heart just breaks for him! I so wish there was more that I could do... He barely eats and he just screams in pain. I know that it will pass but I truly feel bad for him. I know that when he's 16 and telling me how much he hates me I'll wish I could go back to this so I guess I should just appreciate the good times and try not to worry too much about the bad...

***LEGGINGS***

ok, so I got this AMAZING DEAL on babylegs.com and I am so loving them! TJ hates them! But I think they are soooo cute! Anyway, here's Barrett as a little candy corn hehe :)

Paulie want a carrot??

So today I made carrots for Barrett! I'm so excited for him to try them! He still loves the peas! Today he ate the entire jar of them :) I'm so proud of him! Pretty much, you use the same process to make carrot puree. So, I'm just showing you the pics :)

 Cooked baby carrots....

 Add formula to thin it out. As he gets bigger I'll add less....

 Blending!

Finished product! And now I have six servings of carrots :)

peas. mmm....

HAPPY FOUR MONTHS TO MY LITTLE BOY!

I can't believe how quickly the time is passing! Barrett is already four months and he is so big! I have been giving him rice cereal for a short time now and the pediatrician gave me the green light to start him on other solids. She suggested veggies first because they're less sweet and that way he won't refuse them later. She also said I need to give one type for a few days before introducing another kind so that if there is any reaction I'll know what it's to and be able to not give him that anymore. I was given a Baby Bullet as a shower gift so I was even more excited about trying veggies with him! I am not an "organic" type person nor am I anti packaged stuff but I also think that fresh is best. So I definitely want to give Barrett fresh, homemade baby food as often as possible. But I also realize there will be times when I compromise and give him jarred, store-bought baby food. Anyway, I decided today we would start with peas! :) mmm! Haha :) Let me just tell you, HE LOVED THEM! I am so excited to continue trying new foods with this guy! I am very hopeful that he likes food and is less picky than his dad..... 

 Before: He is so happy to just sit in his bouncy seat because he can see what's going on :)

 I steamed one cup of frozen peas then added a half cup of formula to thin it out. 

 Side view. LOL

 Finished product. Yummy? Barrett thought so! :)

 mmmm! See his pea green grin! 

The best part is that it made seven servings! And it was SO easy! 

So, Thanks Tye and Lisa for the awesome gift! Barrett and I love it! :)

Also, just thought I would let you know that I had my gallbladder out on Thursday. I am very glad I did; apparently it was more enlarged than she thought it was. Plus, I'm glad I got it done while TJ is still home. He leaves next week to go to New Mexico for a few weeks. There is no way I would be able to take care of Barrett alone after the surgery. I'm not even allowed to lift him :( It stinks but I would rather "follow the rules" now than make things worse and have to have another surgery blah blah blah.... Anyway, I'm healing up ok. I'm sore but it's getting better every day. I'll be happy when I am back to my normal self!

working on decorating the house

Well... today was an interesting day. I have been having some pain and severe nausea the past few days. I knew something was wrong. I thought it was either my gallbladder or I was preggo again. {which i was pretty sure was not the case} At Dr. Grunander's office today, they did an abdominal ultrasound and found gallstones. So I am glad I was right but still... Not so excited about surgery tomorrow...

Also, I went and helped my friend Steph on a photo shoot yesterday! It was so much fun! We were doing 1 year old birthday pictures of my friend Lisa's little boy Roman. I definitely had a good time and hope that Steph will let me help her more! :) After that, we went to Hobby Lobby! I had never been there before and I am in so much trouble now! EEK TJ is going to hate that I go there! LOL! Anyway, I bought a bunch of crosses that were all on sale! I got six different ones and three of them are wrought iron with different designs and then three are smaller with different  patterns and textures. I pretty much copied my Aunt Melanie's idea and I am SO glad that I did! I LOVE it! I do think I need to get a few more to even it out a little bit. But for now, here it is:

And, just because, here is a picture of Bogey being a lap dog:

...

Alrighty, I'm just going to warn you right now that this post is a little bit jumbled. I'm not exactly sure what the point is or where I'm going with it.... Honestly, I think I'm just thinking out loud. On paper. Well, not paper.... You get the point.

So lately I've been reading a ton of blogs about all sorts of things: being a good wife, fashion, "green living", and lately even a couple of my classmates from high school's blogs. Now, after reading their blogs it really made me question myself. I began to question all of the choices I've made up to this point: schools, career paths, life choices, marriage and kids, even where I lived! I think it's kind of a natural thing, comparing your life and choices to other peoples' lives... Did I go to the right school and for the right thing? Am I where I should be and who I should be there with? I can't say I am where I want to be. Are you? Who can say they are? Hopefully no one. I like to think we live our lives in transition, always improving ourselves. And I'm not necessarily sure I feel ready to share with you what regrets I have or even what exactly I want to do from here on out.... Honestly I don't know if I even know all of that at this point. But what I can tell you, is that I know without a doubt that I am where God wants me to be. I don't mean that He doesn't want me to improve, grow, change, seek Him more, or love better, but I know I am supposed to be married to TJ. I know Barrett was sent here as a gift from God because he is supposed to be in our lives. I am so thankful for all the blessings in my life. I guess what I've come to conclude after all this is that I am so excited for the journey TJ and I are on. I hope and pray that I can continue to seek Him more and share His love better than I know I have in the past.....